SPORE, the one, the only, the evolutionary game. The game which can make you smile, make you laugh, and can even tuck you to bed.
A highly anticipated game, Spore started out just fine, great even with a few glitches however, but the game managed to overcome it`s not so nice parts with state of the art possibilities, the illusion of freedom, and a strong hunger for creativity. One of the things i liked most about Spore is that no matter how big or how ugly you are, there will always a creature stronger and another one weaker. Also there are three ways of going through the game : herbivore, carnivore or omnivore. The herbivore part clearly suggests a strong amount of "EMO-l33tness" having to go peaceful on just about every other species or you end up dead. As for the carnivore part, the game just gets easier, you kill everything, you eat their corpses for hit points, and all that stuff until you end up dominating the world. The omnivores tend to be more industrious, and unlike the others, they prefer to buy their opponents.
The game lets you start at the EMO stage, in a small or big pond on a selected planet, you appear. Small enough to eat and ugly enough to be avoided. The first stage of Spore can be compared to a PacMan game, meaning that the only thing you can do is eat shit and/or die.Trying to somewhat represent a "cell`s" life in the real world, but here, the more shit you eat the bigger you get, the bigger you get the more dangerous you are. The way you build your creature isn`t as important as it should be, because you can morph it into a dick, literary, and back at any time you want. Sure the number of legs, teeth, horns and other mutant parts are important, but where and how you place them simply does not matter.
After reaching a certain level, a brain spawns on your creature, somewhere where the head is supposed to be, congratulations, you reached the creature stage. In this stage things tend to be a little more complex, but sadly, they are not. There is only one rule : Only the strongest/richest survive. After the creature stage i climbed on a ladder and reached the conclusion that the fun just ended, and i mean it. Up to the creature stage you create the creature, after that, you dress it up. The tribal stage turns into a RTS, a bad RTS ofcourse, it is short and hardly worth playing. Few moments after and voila, i got to build my own city, fact which sounds good in theory but sucks ball in practice. Designing buildings and pleasuring my Penises, C`OMMON. Here, the goals is simple : kill/buy/convert other cities, in other words, become "the biggest, the best".
Despite the fact that i tried playing it on all possible methods: religious, economic, military; at the last stage it all ends up the same way, an RPG, a BAD rpg to be exact. While the first four stage are short and fun, the last stage involves a series of shitty missions, involving planet coloring, collecting EMO`s from all over the galaxy and blowing up would-be enemies.
It`s hard to believe though, this game promised a lot, but what it really did is quite simple, it put together 5 types of games and the result is clear : BULLSHIT. The fun stages are short and the fucked up ones are long and full of shit.
I guess i should say more about SPORE, more about the "Sporepedia", but when i think that the creator of spore made his money by creating girl-games like The Sims, I rather cut my tongue out. Who knows, maybe Will Wright only wanted to show the world that there`s a little Hitler in all of us.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Respect the superior race
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The little engine that could
After months of brainless MMO`ing i finally got the guts to step up and play the game which was supposed to be the best of the best, the game which defined the new generation : Crysis
From the first day when i heard about Crysis i was simply stunned by it`s requirements, sure the game was promising some interesting stuff, like the so called freedom and some neat gameplay but all these just can`t be compared to the graphics. So i recently bought just about the best pieces of hardware money can handle and what better way to test it`s power but to install Crysis.
Starting the game i was somewhat impressed with it, the weapons were standardishly nice, the whole island was looking fantasticly good and with the abience, it almost seemed real. That ultil i started the mission. Let me just put it this way : all the graphics in the world cannot, just cannot compensate for the flaws in the gameplay and the AI, i`m not saying that the graphics aren`t fantastic, but let`s be real here. In order to take down an enemy lots of bullets are required, 2-3 shotgun shells to the head or a well placed grenade. But the strangest part is that you can actually go through the game, untill the part where you get out of the alien ship, only with your fists. As far as the enemies will go, i`ve lived to see two strange situations : at one point the emos were shooting at me from an impressive distance with damn good acuracy, in other situations the tards could land a bullet on me thanks to the gimp tree who kept me cover.
The game offers a short, yet interesting amount of weapons. For starters some are good some are useless and all of them can be modified with either a scope, flashlight laser pointer etc. The main character, "Nomad" can cary two weapons a few grenades and a potential RocketLauncher. The rockets will follow the pointer the grenades will prove useful, but the other ones, they just run out of bullets too fast.
Next to the graphics this game was supposed to show off it`s "freedom". Though such things are always limited, the player must do some quests ( go there, kill that, come here, blow me, and stuff like that), and the only "freedom" existing is represented by the vast ways to accomplish a mission. From charging in to stealth or by simply running. Let me just say that the game promised more, a lot more.
Another interesting thing in this game is the nano-suit. Crytek gets a nice piece of candy for this one. Other shooters have power-ups usable only when picked up or when some fanatic score is achieved, Crysis however puts the suit on you, and the only thing you have to do is to switch from one power-up to the other. Fantasticly when the player uses a power-up the suits power is drained, but no problem here you easy mode player fucks, the suits energy is restored at a high rate.
Sadly i expected more from Crysis, a lot more, tons more even. After finishing the game and going through that /fail ending this is the conclusion : Crysis = ultra pro graphics + imba nanosuit + idiotic AI + EMO enemies + mediocre weapons + a shit for a storyline.
Crysis isn`t the game it suposed to be, it`s below average. Worth giving it a try but, like is said before, all the graphics in the world cannot compensate for the flaws in the game.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Games VS Movies : Postal
Postal, the game which inspires carnage, tons of blood, big guns, strange guns, and lots of ways to kill an emo. I guess that the best way to describe this game is: FUN.
Recently I saw the Postal movie, just like the game, is great. From the beginning to the end I laughed my guts out as I watched the postal dude spread funny lines from left to the right, as he was put in many great situations and mostly, the way he managed to handle them all.
The movie starts in one of the funniest, yet controversial, possible ways ever, a joke about 9/11, as how the whole stuff wasn`t the way it supposed to be. Shortly after the great intro I saw the main character of the movie just like in the game, and trust me on this one, there was no one better for this role, there are only a handful of actors I know, who have this lovely effect on you, when I saw Zack Ward, I instantly realized one thing: he`s going to rape or kill one or many emo`s.
Starting in front of his trailer house in Paradise City, listening to the crap his fat bitch of a wife had to say, and only after a few seconds, how he finds out about the fucking she does when the dude isn`t home.
Generally this movie is like a roller coaster, it has as many superb parts as it has stupid and boring ones. For some strange reasons, probably the power of
After an hour of watching the shower of blood, and the gut flow this movie had to offer, it ended with absolutely the greatest fucking line in the history of man kind as we know it, and with the dream of the masses coming true : The explosion of the wife, and the epic line : I regret nothing!
